Why I Don’t Like Tattoos

HeartI’m not a big fan of tattoos, nor a little fan. Truth be told, I don’t like tattoos. They use needles to do it, and charge you for it. Why would I pay someone to stick me with needles? But wait, it gets better. A tattoo is forever. What if you don’t like it? Or grow tired of it?

There is another reason, when tattoos don’t live up to expectations. I see that a lot. But what are you going to do? A tattoo is forever.

Take my friends, Timmy and Jimmy. They are a couple. Fun people, always happy to lend a hand. A while back they were celebrating their ten years together so they decided to go on a cruise. To some exotic places. The way they explained, you spend your nights aboard the cruise ship, but during the day you get to visit all those islands and beaches, and what have you.

I went on two cruises, and got bored both times. I ended up drinking more than usual, eat more, mostly because I didn’t know what else to do with my time. But I was single.  Timmy and Jimmy being a couple will probably have more fun.

When they came back we had a party for them and they showed us all the touristy stuff they bought at the different stops, they said they had a good time, but…

But what?

It took a while for us to get them to confess that they got matching tattoos. Matching tattoos? My friends are very conservative, preppy type guys. What a shock! Now we wanted to see the tattoos. They told us the tattoo was a simple heart with their name spelled inside. Jimmy’s heart said Timmy, and vice versa. What a romantic idea.

Well, we weren’t going to go home until they showed us the tattoos. Blushing while telling us,  they explained that day they had too much to drink and, well, had it done on their cheek. No, not the cheeks on your face, the other cheeks. Again they repeated over and over how very tastefully it was, so small, so elegant—so wrong!

Ahah!!! After we all swear not to take any pics with our phones, they dropped their trousers, aye!

Timmy’s heart said Timmy and Jimmy’s heart obviously said Jimmy.

Remember what I said? Tattoos are forever.

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